


Sacrifice

by Madam_Fandom



Series: Team Free Will [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, M/M, Stand Alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 11:42:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7048258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madam_Fandom/pseuds/Madam_Fandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys are on a routine hunting trip. What could possibly go wrong?</p><p>Elements of this story tie in with my other story, We Don't Talk About It, I would read that one first, or you can read this as a stand alone story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Return

Sam was sitting in the driver's seat of the impala when he heard the flutter of wings, the trademark sound of an angel arriving. Without looking up from the text he was sending to Dean, Sam said, “Hey Cas.”

“Sorry darling, wrong angel.”

Sam jumped and turned to look in the backseat. He was flabbergasted! His mouth hung open as he stared openly at the angel he thought was dead.

“How, how, h-ow..” Sam stuttered.

“Close your mouth sweetheart, before I put something in it.”

Sam snapped his mouth closed and continued to look at the angel. After several awkward moments of them staring at one another Sam spoke up.

“Uh, well, I want to thank you, Balthazar. If you hadn't given Dean and I the Fate killing blade we would never have saved Cas from Lucifer.”

“Don't mention it mate. I had a feeling you might be needing that blade before long.”

Sam’s phone chimed, alerting him to a new text message, most likely a return text from Dean. Sam was suppose to be Dean’s lookout and let him know when the owner of the house arrived back home. They knew from watching the homeowner for the past couple of days, that she never left for more than 30 minutes at a time. Which they were fast approaching the closing of that window.

The brothers suspected her of being apart of  a coven that was placing curses on the people in the town whenever a member of the coven felt wronged.

Sam looked down at his phone, and sure enough a text from Dean was waiting on him. “Is the coast clear?” Sam looked around and replied back. “Yes. Hurry.”

Sam put his phone down and turned back to face Balthazar, but no one was in the backseat. Sam looked around outside, trying to spot the angel. Dean opened the passenger side door and got in, startling Sam in the process.

“Let's go Sam.”

Sam looked around one last time and then started the car and drove off.

“Find anything?” Sam asked.

“Nada. Zilch. I mean it was weird, I’m sure she’s the head witch, but I found nothing. She has to be practicing at another location.”

Sam drove them to the local motel, the Familiar Inn.

“I swear this town is ran by witches with a sense of humor.” Dean said under his breath.

The brothers climbed out of the car. As Sam was walking to the back of the impala to get his overnight back out of the trunk he noticed something on the backseat. He open the back door to get a better look. It was a single dandelion.

“What on earth?” Sam whispered.

“Whatcha got there?” Dean asked.

“Weird, it's a dandelion.”

Dean's eyebrows shot up. “How in the world did it get there?”

“Uh, no clue.” Sam said dropping the dandelion on the ground. He wasn't sure why he hadn't told Dean about Balthazar yet. He felt like something was off. Hell maybe he was hallucinating or Lucifer was in his head again. But even if that was the case, why Balthazar?

The boys grabbed their items out of the trunk and went to check in.

Roughly an hour later Sam was finishing his turn in the shower. He was drying his hair and approaching his bed when he noticed there was a dandelion on his bed.

“Uh, Dean.”

“Yea?”

“Did you put that on my bed?”

“Put what?” Dean asked as he was looked over his shoulder to Sam. “Hell no! What gives? Is that thing following you? Do you think the coven is on to us?”

“No I don't think so Dean. Compared to the curses against the rest of the town, it doesn't fit.”

“Maybe it's  warning.” Dean approached the bed. “We should get rid of it. You already touched the other one, so you throw it out.”

“Dude! Really?” Sam said sounding peeved. He snatched the flower off the bed and headed for the door. It wasn't until he was several steps away from the room that he remembered he was only wearing a towel. He rushed back to the room. The door was locked. He knocked. “Dean? Let me in.”

Dean's face appeared in the window next to door. “Nah-uh. I'm not letting you back in until you get rid of that thing. Bury it for good measure.”

Sam looked at Dean incredulously. “This isn't funny Dean. I don't have on any clothes. And bury? What good will that do? Besides,” Sam spread his arms out, “no clothes, no supplies. How am I sup-” just then his towel fell.


	2. Hunted

"Nice view."

Sam scrambled to grab the towel and cover himself again. He turned to the voice and scowled at the speaker. He are Dean laugh and turned back towards his brother. 

"Use your hands Sammy, I'm not letting you back in until you get rid of it. I don't wanna catch your cooties." Dean let the curtain fall back in place over the window. 

Sam stood there a few moments longer hoping Dean was just messing with him and would unlock the door. Nothing. He sighed and turned to Balthazar, still holding his towel awkwardly in place. 

"I see you just had to cover your naughty bits." Balthazar went to circle Sam but Sam turned with him, keeping his front to him. A door slammed and a lady wolf whistled at him. Sam swung around quickly so that she was not looking at his exposed backside. 

"You need help sugar?" the woman drawled sweetly. She had on too much makeup, a short cut off shirt, and a skirt so short if she sneezed she would be exposing herself. 

"No thank you, ma'am I'm good."

"If you say so darling." Sam watched and waited until the click clacking if her stilettos disappeared around the front of the building. Thank god they had a back room.

"You have a delectable ass." Balthazar said on an exhale. Sam gave a heavy sigh and turned back to face Balthazar.

"Seriously, Balthazar. What's your game? You don't even like men," realizing the way that sounded Sam stumbled over an explanation, "I am mean not saying I do, but why are you hitting on me?"

Balthazar stepped closer to Sam. "Maybe I like seeing that blush creep up your neck and color your face all delicious like mate."

That made Sam blush harder, he didn't know what to say, he was out of his depths so he ignore what the other man said altogether. 

"Are you the one leaving dandelions all over?" Sam asked him instead.

"Nope, not me. But judging by how freaked you and dean are over it I kinda wished I did." Balthazar gave Sam an innocent smile.

"I'm not sure I believe you. But I need to play it safe so I need to get rid of this." 

Sam turned and headed to the small alcove west of the motel. It was just a small thicket of trees and other plant life claiming a small corner to themselves. When Sam had walked further enough in where he could be seen by anyone just happening to be out he stopped and looked around. Trying to find something to dig with. 

Balthazar appeared across from Sam, leaning against one not the bigger trees. He gave a heavy sigh.

"What?" Sam asked sounding annoyed. 

"Well, my dear Samuel,"

"Don't call me that."

"What? My dear, or Samuel?" Balthazar asked with his usual shit eatting grin in place. 

"Neither."

"Well, as I was saying, it pains me to do this, but -"

Sam panicked and started backing away from the angel. "Do wha-"

Balthazar snapped his fingers and Sam was fully dressed in a pair of black loafers, black tailored jeans, and a caramel colored v-neck t-shirt. And on the ground next to him was a small trowel, salt and matches. 

Sam looked down at himself and back to Balthazar. Then at the supplies for him to bury the flower. 

"Uh, thanks? I don't dress like this Balthazar. I appreciate man, but I -" 

Balthazar approached Sam, he had a weird glint in his eyes that Sam couldn't quite place. His heartbeat sped up. He had the fight or flight feeling. Balthazar stood toe to toe with Sam, he invaded his space, making Sam feel slightly small. 

"Well maybe you should Samuel." Seeing the confusion on Sam's face he elaborated, "Should start dressing like this, really, Sam try to keep up. I thought you had brains and beauty." 

They stood there, too close, breathing in each others expelled breaths. It felt like they were baring themselves to another, an understanding. No words were spoken for these few fleeting moment that felt to Sam like a lifetime. He felt oddly comfortable. It shook him a little and he refused to explore what was transpiring at this very moment. 

Balthazar looked away first. He turned and went to stand back against the tree. Sam took up the trowel and dug a hole. He tossed the dandelion in it, sprinkled it with salt, and realized he had no accelerant. 

"Um, Balth -" Sam started when Balthazar snapped his fingers and the flower caught on fire. "Thanks." Sam said quietly. 

When the fire had died down the two men walked back to the room. Balthazar stood to the side, if Dean looked out the window he wouldn't be able to see him.

Sam raised his hand to knock on the door when Balthazar put a hand on his wrist stopping him. 

"Samuel, why haven't you told Dean I was back?"

"I'm not sure. I think part of me thought maybe I was hallucinating. And I don't want Dean looking at me like a freak again."

Balthazar's hand still rested on Sam's wrist. "You are not a freak. Freakishly tall, but never a - well, now that I think about it, that wouldn't be all that bad, now would it darling?" Balthazar lifted one eyebrow at Sam, as in silent questioning. Sam looked away and asked.

"Why haven't you just popped in around Dean letting him know you are alive?" 

Balthazar looked slightly startled as if it hadn't occurred to him. 

Suddenly he cocked his head to the side and looked pensive. 

"Get behind me Samuel." Balthazar didn't wait for Sam to move he stepped in front of Sam and shouldered his way through the motel room door. 

Sam was instantly on guard. Balthazar held up a finger warning Sam to stay quiet. 

Suddenly there was violent gust of wind that blew past them and out the door. Sam was torn, he wasn't sure if he should try to, what, chase the, wind? It sounded crazy even in his head. 

He turned back towards the room and that's when he saw Dean laying on the floor. His coloring was all wrong, he looked slightly blue. He looked dead. No! No! No! No! No!


	3. Bargin

Sam rushed to Dean's side. 

"Dean? Dean!" Sam was in a frenzy. He didn't know what to do. He held Dean in his arms and searched for a pulse. There was one, barely, but it was there. Sam turned to Balthazar with fear and panic in his eyes. 

"Help me Balthazar, please. I'll do anything. Give you anything you want. Just help Dean. Please." 

Balthazar approached the brothers. "For the record my dear Samuel, I would've done it for free, the two of you have grown on me like barnacles. But I'm holding you to the deal."

"Whatever, just - please." 

Sam sounded so defeated and scared, it twisted something in Balthazar's gut. A fierceness came over him at the thought of Sam hurting. 

He kneeled down next to Sam, their bodies slightly touching. Balthazar placed his hands palm down, not touching, over Dean's heart. He ran his hands the length of Dean's body. Trying to sense the extent of his injury. 

He took a knife out of his back pocket and pricked Dean's finger. Sam stared fascinated, Balthazar's tongue darted out and lapped up the bead of blood. 

Balthazar turned and spat the blood on the floor behind him. "He's been cursed."

"What? What can we do? We can't even research how to counter it without knowing who or what caused it. If it was that coven I will -" Sam started to argue.

"Settle down there love, it wasn't any witches. Lucky for you mon cœur, I recognized that entity that rushed out of here, and I am familiar with their curses."

"So wait, you know how to fix this then?" Sam demanded.

Balthazar turned and patted Sam on his cheek. "I'll be back Samuel. I will go get what we will need."

Balthazar disappeared and Sam drove himself to the brink of madness obsessing over Dean. 

30 minutes later Balthazar popped back in with a worried Castiel by his side. Balthazar went to the small table in the corner of the room and started preparing the antidote. 

Castiel sat on the bed next to Dean, where Sam had moved him. He was holding one of Dean's hands and whispering to him in Enochian. 

Sam joined Balthazar at the table.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Balthazar spared a moment to look at Sam, his gaze lingered a second too long on his lips. 

"No, mon trésor, Castiel and I can handle this. But we are on a tight timeline. This was caused by a creature called a Wyvern. It normally looks like s serpent with a Dragons head or something of that nature. Today is the first time I've ever seen one camouflaged. It also possess a venomous bite in which, I am concocting an antidote for. But it must be administered to the victim by someone who loves them unconditionally." Sam started to speak, "That's not you Sam. You love your brother and idolize him. But if you're quite honest with yourself there are things about your brother that make you want to choke the bloody daylights out of him. There was also that time he was in Purgatory. That isn't unconditional. You have to love him despite his faults mate."

Sam looked over his shoulder and watched Cas with his brother. Balthazar followed his gaze and said very quietly, "That Samuel, that is unconditional love. Castiel gave up everything for Dean. Even when Dean pushed him away or treated him like rubbish. He always puts Dean before himself. He doesn't only love him when things are going good. Or when Dean is on his best behavior. He loves Dean regardless." 

Castiel was still holding onto Dean's hand like a life jacket. He was singing very lightly in Enochian. It was beautiful. Cas' face showed signs of worry and as Sam watched, a single tear slid down his cheek. He had never seen Cas cry. 

Sam turned back to Balthazar, "Let's get this done before it's too late." Sam watched as he mixed all the ingredients in a pot on a portable stove. The last two ingredients surprised him, one was bright yellow dandelions, and one black feather. Balthazar trimmed some of the feather into the pot stirring very leisurely. After a few minutes Balthazar poured the elixir into a tumbler and handed it to Sam. Sam sniffed it and was surprised it smelled very similar to apple pie. 

Castiel pulled Dean up into a reclined position against his chest and took the glass from Sam. Cas locked eyes first with Sam and then Balthazar. Closing his eyes he stilled himself. 

Cas allowed Dean's head to loll back and Balthazar opened his mouth. Castiel slowly poured the concoction in Dean's mouth, stopping every so often to allow the liquid to work its way down. 

Balthazar had moved to stand by the table, he was watching Castiel tend to Dean, unaware that he was wringing his hands. Sam approached him. 

"Hey, thanks for this. Dean is going to be okay." Balthazar did not respond. Sam reached out and placed his hands over the angels. "You hear me? Dean will be okay, I have faith that this will work. You should too. Why are you so worked up?"

Balthazar turned his gaze on Sam. "Because Samuel, it will hurt you to lose your brother. And eventually you will come to hate me for not being able to save him. I don't want either of those things to happen mon cœur." Sam didn't respond, he just kept staring at Balthazar as if he was trying to figure him out. 

"He has drank all of the antidote. Now we have to wait and see if it works." Cas said as he clapped Balthazar on the back. "Thank you for this my friend. You have been always loyal. Even when I am undeserving of your loyalty." Cas looked away seeming embarrassed. 

"No problem old friend. Sam and I have business to discuss, in terms of payment. We will be outside if you need us Cas. Come Samuel, let us discuss payment." Balthazar turned and walked out the door. Sam took another look at Dean, then at Cas and walked out, closing the door behind him. 

"So what's it gonna be?" Sam questioned once he caught up to Balthazar. 

Balthazar didn't answer he just kept walking until he reached the same thicket from earlier. Sam entered behind him, watching as Balthazar dropped heavily in front of a tree, leaning his back against it.

"What's going on Balthazar? Why are you suddenly back and nicer?"

"Easy mate, I'm not really Balthazar."

"I knew it! Balthazar has never been particularly nice to us, nor have I ever seen him hit on a guy, or anyone for that matter." Sam rambled on.

Balthazar's chuckle had Sam scowling in confusion. 

"What's so funny?"

"Samuel, I was just putting you on. I am Balthazar, the most selfish angel in the whole garrison." Balthazar snorted. 

Sam approached Balthazar and sat down in front of him, pulling his long legs up and wrapping his arms around his knees.

"Okay, let's hear it. What are your demands?" Sam looked calm on the outside but his heart was thudding in his chest. He just didn't know what to expect from this new and improved Balthazar.

Balthazar sighed quietly. "I like you Sam."

Sam scoffed, "Since when?"

The angel looked Sam in the eyes, looking extremely earnest. "I imagine I always have. But only really realized it after my, untimely demise."

Sam wasn't sure how to interpret that; he wasn't even sure what he hoped that Balthazar meant. So instead of commenting on the part that made him slightly uncomfortable, he honed in on the part that had nothing to do with. "So who brought you back?

"I am assuming my extremely absent as of late father. Guess I'm not done here." Balthazar stared at Sam for a good five minutes. Five minutes of silence. Five minutes of Sam trying to hold eye contact and losing. Five minutes of Sam inside his own head. 

"You know Samuel, not talking about something doesn't make it go away."

"What are we not talking about? I have already -" 

"Us. And the connection we have." Balthazar interrupted. 

"What has gotten into you Balthazar? You've changed."

"Death has a way of doing that. When Cas stabbed me, I never expected that. It hurt. And I don't mean physically, that it did, but I mean, it hurt to know the one angel I truly considered my brother had killed me. I might bitch and complain but I would always help Cas out if I could. But in my next heartbeats, figuratively speaking of course. In my next heartbeats I realized a million things. Some trivial, some life shattering. But the most life shattering revelation was the pain and regret I felt when you flashed in my mind." 

Balthazar watched Sam's reaction to his confession. Sam was always so expressive, even when he thought he had a poker face. Like right now he was grinding his teeth and fingers were biting into his hand. His fee had gone slightly pale. Balthazar would unsinkable the Titanic again to know what Sam was thinking. 

"Samuel. It was a shock to me that you were the last coherent thought I had before I died."

Sam leaped up abruptly. He turned his back on Balthazar, walking to the edge of the thicket, leaning against a tree. His breathing looked labored and he didn't speak, he just continued to take deep shallow breaths.

Balthazar placed a hand lightly on Sam's shoulder, he had crossed so quietly it startled Sam. 

"Are you alright Samuel?"

Sam violently shrugged Balthazar's hand off of his shoulder, he whirled around to face the angel, invading his space. 

"I don't know what you want me to do?! I don't know what your expecting. I'm not gay. I'm not into you. You're just another angel that assisted us in the fight against evil." 

Sam was breathing hard and for all his yelling, he didn't look angry, he looked perplexed. 

Balthazar shoved Sam. Hard.

"You don't get to yell at me and just dismiss me like any other angel. I have at the very least proven to you that I am your friend Sam Winchester. You have not earned the right to take my heart and squash it beneath your gargantuan feet. You are better than that. You are kind. You are considerate. You are caring. You are gentle." 

After each statement Balthazar made about Sam's character, he shoved Sam until his back was against the tree. 

Balthazar crowded Sam's space. "And another thing, you may not be gay, and that's fine, cause technically I have no gender. But despite your denials, you want me Samuel. You may not want to. Just like your idiot brother in there! You two are so alike. How long did it take for him to realize he cared for Castiel? Until it was almost too late I'm sure of it. How long did it take you to realize those two emo princesses had the hots for one another? Not long. You're perceptive, so don't act clueless."

Sam open his mouth several times to speak, but each time just closed it again. He didn't know what to say. He had been feeling speechless and off balance since Balthazar had showed back up. Was there any truth to what Balthazar was saying?

"Sam. You have been quiet for far too long, say something."

Sam stayed quiet.

"Fuck it." Balthazar mumbled under his breath. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Sam's, catching completely off guard. Sam open his mouth to speak and Balthazar took advantage, slipping his tongue in. The kiss was very one sided and leisurely. Once Sam overcame his shock he shoved at Balthazar chest. 

"Dude. What the fuck? I told you, I'm not gay."

"And I told you -" Balthazar began.

"I know, you have no gender, but your vessel does. And it's just weird."

Balthazar stood there, un-moving, staring up at Sam. 

"Move Balthazar." Sam demanded. When Balthazar refused to moved Sam shoved at him again. And again. He just kept shoving him. 

Balthazar didn't budge. He allowed Sam to keep shoving him, simply because it was ineffectual, and it didn't hurt. Something was obviously bothering Sam and he was taking it out on him. "Enough Sam." When Sam went to shove him again Balthazar caught his wrist and held down down at his sides. He looked Sam in the eyes for a split second and then kissed him like his second life depended on it. It was hard, fast and aggressive. And the miracle of it all was that Sam kissed him back. 

The desperate, soul shattering kiss went on for only moments, until someone cleared their throat.

"Sam. I thought you might want to know that Dean is awake and asking for you." Castiel said sounding a bit apologetic.

Sam realizing what hennas just done shoved Balthazar away from him, this time Balthazar allowed it. 

Castiel had already started back for the room. Sam straightened his clothes, not because it need it, but because he was attempting to straighten his mental state. He didn't even look in Balthazar's direction when he left the thicket. 

"Sam." Sam stopped, keeping his back to him. "I'm glad Dean woke up, we will need to discuss payment. Not now but soon."

There was the sound of wings and Balthazar was gone. Sam sighed heavily and continued to the room.


	4. Sacrifice

A couple weeks had passed since the close call with Dean. They had wrapped upthrust case with the coven. It turned out the coven was actually trying to help the town's people. They were aware of the Wyvern. In fact one of the coven members son had accidentally released it. The dandelions Sam found was an attempt to help them,dandelions was one of the ingredients for the antidote. And as resilient as that particular plant is, it doesn't grow in this town. Probably something to do with this being the Wyvern's hunting grounds.

Sam also had not heard from Balthazar. He knew better than to think Balthazar simply forgot their agreement. He was just bidding his time. 

Sam was in the library looking for any leads on Amara, when he heard the sound of wings whooshing. He jumped and looked behind him. It was Cas. He released the breath he hadn't even realized he was holding. He turned back to his laptop.

"You've been very jumpy lately Sam. Has something else happened between you and Balth-"

"No Cas!" Sam interrupted. "Nothing. I haven't heard from him." Sam sounded sullen even to his own ears. 

Dean entered the kitchen. He threw an arm over Castiel's shoulder. "Are you yelling at my angel Sam?" Dean was smirking like he had just told the funniest joke.

"Deaaan. We have discussed this, I am not your angel." Castiel sounded exasperated, like this was an old argument between the two of them. 

Dean just grinned wider. He turned towards the refrigerator, slapping Cas on his ass as he did. Cas honest to god yelped and rolled his eyes. 

Sam smiled. He liked seeing this side of them. Dean happy and Cas, he wasn't sure what exactly Cas was, but he would bet money this was Cas being happy as well. 

Dean reached in the refrigerator and pulled out two beers. He passed one to Sam. "So what were you yelling at Cas about?"

"Nothing." Sam mumbled.

The was a very faint angel wing whoosh.

"No doubt he has probably missed me." Balthazar said smugly, but when Sam turned to give a biting retort he could see Balthazar was not feeling as cocky as he put on. "Hello Samuel." 

"Samuel?" Dean mouthed to Cas in question.

"It's kind of their thing." Cas explained. 

"Their thing? Seriously? They have a thing? Since when? Besides, I thought he was dead?" 

"Balthazar is the one who saved you Dean. He knew what we were dealing with and how to save you." Cas explained further. He and Dean continued whispering between themselves. 

Balthazar took a step forward, his eyes rolled forward and he collapsed unceremoniously to the floor. 

Sam shot out of his seat and was by Balthazar's side. When Balthazar fell it revealed a rapidly spreading red stain on his shirt. Sam gently rolled the soggy shirt up to reveal the wound. It was a jagged, gaping mess. The skin was greyish around the wound and their was a greenish pus pooling in the center. Sam looked up to Cas, "You've got to help him." He implored. 

"Sam, I'm not sure what I can do. I don't know what did this and -" 

Sam cut him off, quietly pleading, "But we gotta try right? He helped us with Dean and he came here, he knew he needed help."

Cas sighed. "I'll see what I can do." Cas bent over Balthazar, placing his hands above the wound, not touching him. He closed his eyes and a pale blue light emanated from his hands. A few tense moments later, the light faded, and Cas looked directly at Sam, he seemed sad and regretful, and then he disappeared. 

Sam jumped up, "What the hell Cas?!" Sam turned to his brother, "What the hell was that about? Call your boyfriend back Dean." Sam demand sternly. 

"Look, I know you're worried, I'm not sure why, and even though Cas killed him the first time around, Balthazar is his friend and I'm sure he knows what he is doing."

Sam roughly ran a hand through his hair. He started pacing the small area nearest Balthazar. 

"So tell me how and when Balthazar got back."

"When we were investigating the coven, he popped up in the back seat while you were in the house. And then he popped up again right when you locked me out. He protected me when the Wvyern went to rush me. He recognized the entity, and knew what to do to save you. Not to mention he gave us the Fate killing blade."

"Alright, alright, alright! I get it, we owe him one. I know you're a bleeding heart and all Sam, but why do you seem to be so concerned about what happens to Balthazar? Except for the incidents since his resurrection he was always douchy to us."

Sam sighed. "I don't know Dean. I guess he's grown on me." 

Dean looked at Sam in disbelief, "Grown on you?"

Sam squirmed under Dean's scrutiny. "You know, kind of how Cas grew on you." 

Dean exploded. "Are you kidding me right now! Cas is like family, he has helped us out time and time again. He's grown on you? Seriously? No! Absolutely not!".

"Dean."

"No Sam! Are you even hearing yourself? Like Cas? So are saying you have feelings for Balthazar?"

"I don't know. But -"

"I can't let you do this. Sure he has helped us in the past but it was for Cas, not us!" 

"First of all, you are being very hypocritical! Secondly, regardless of why he helped, he did. And lastly what are you really saying here Dean? That Balthazar couldn't possibly care about me? That what you and Cas have is wrong and so I shouldn't want that for myself? I mean really? Why do you have a problem with this? Even if he was douche he was never as bad to us as Crowley, and that was BFF for a while."

Dean stammered a couple times before be he could formulate a reply. "Just no Sam."

"No to you Dean, I'm done discussing this with you. You're my brother, you're suppose to be there for me and have my back. Instead you're just judging. I don't even know what any of this is. But I will figure it on my own" Sam gathered Balthazar in his arms and carried him towards the wing with the bedrooms.


	5. Decisions

"You could've handled that better Dean."

Dean jumped. "Jesus Cas! We talked about that."

Cas just looked at Dean pointedly. 

"What was I supposed to say or do Cas? It's Balthazar. He hasn't exactly been Team Winchester in the past."

"No, but he has been Team Protect the Humans. Even if he is usually complaining about it. Balthazar is a good Angel. I wouldn't trust him at my back if he wasn't. And more importantly, I wouldn't have trusted him to protect you to when I was trying to draw Michael out." Cas paused to give Dean a moment to process what he had said. "Dean, when I had went to Sam and told him about all the conflicting feelings I was having, he wasn't sure how he felt about it, but not once did he try to prevent you and I from figuring out what was between us. He was nothing but supportive. He strived to make sure you were fair to me and considered my feelings, and fair to yourself by considering what you felt. He would have been in your corner no matter what. Now he is in the almost exact same situation and you berate him. That's not fair. You know I love you, and would have your side in almost anything, but you are wrong in this Dean."

"I don't know Cas, I mean, Sam is a goody two shoes nerd. And Balthazar is selfish and all about himself."

"You don't know Balthazar. Would I really befriend a self-serving angel and have him as my right hand man in war?"

Dean smirked, "You put up with me."

"Seriously Dean. Sam was okay or at least willing to be okay with us because he just wants you to be happy. Don't you want that for him?"

"I do dammit! That's why I think it's a bad ideal."

"It's not your call Dean. Besides, I have seen them interact when they thought no one else was around. Sam is confused. And he over thinks things sometimes. And that is what he was doing with Balthazar. He felt their connection, yet he denied it. But the moment he let his guard down he realized there could be something real there."

Dean looked at his shoes. "I hope you're right and know what you're talking about when it comes to Balthazar."

"Come on Dean, you know I'm right. Have I ever been wrong?"

Dean looked at Cas with squinty eyes. "Seriously? Leviathans Cas! Leviathans."

Cas laughed. An honest to god laugh. "That was one time." 

Sam had taken Balthazar to Cas' old room. Unfortunately, it was right across from Dean's. He had lain the angel on the bed, and he would be lying if he said he wasn't worried. 

Cas whooshed into the room behind Sam. It had been almost 30 mins since he had come in here. He was scared it was too late. 

"Sam." Cas said quietly.

"Are you here to tell me there is nothing you can do?" was Sam's bitter reply.

"What? No. I know what happened now, to Balthazar. He was hunting the Wvyern."

"What!?" Sam leaped up in alarm. "So he was bit, just like Dean? But he's already been out much longer Dean was. It's too late." 

"Sam! Calm down and listen. The bite of the Wvyern affects angels differently so it seems. I have all of the ingredients for the antidote, in fact it's already mixed up. We just need to give it to him."

"Buuuut? We aren't giving it to him yet because..."

"You do remember it has to be administered by someone who loves the victim unconditionally." Cas stared at Sam, hoping what he was getting at would sink in. 

"You could do it Cas! He was your right hand, you trusted only him for years."

"I also killed him Sam. I don't think that classifies as unconditional. But you could do it." 

Sam looked startled. "Me? Why me?"

"Sam. I seen the way you two were with each other before. And I have seen how down you've been since he left."

"Okay. Maybe I think, Dean and I had misjudged him and he is a good guy. I'll give it to him."

"What you're not realizing here is the way this curse works. If you give him the antidote, and you don't love him, unconditionally, it won't work."

"So! Then we'll just try and find someone to give it to him again." Sam tried to reason, sounding panicked.

"If the person doesn't love them unconditionally, not only does it not work, it kills them. We only get one shot. I think you need to think about this before you try. But you also have to remember, humans often lie, or trick themselves into believing or not believing something. And to magic, what you think you believe is what is." explained Castiel.

"So what you're saying is, if I can make myself believe I love him long enough I can save him?"

"More like, you are telling yourself you don't love him, even though you do, so magic will interpret it as you don't. And he will die."

Sam was quiet for far longer than Cas thought the situation warranted, especially it being such a dire situation. Sam was normally the one to own up-to his feelings and move when things needed to happen now. Dean, love him as he may, was the one that usually lamented on all that could possibly go wrong and frequently participated in self-depreciation and self-denial. He didn't expect this from Sam. He'd wrongly thought Sam would hear how precarious Balthazar's situation was, how much worse Sam could make it with the wrong decision and come to the realization that he did indeed love Balthazar. He hated to do this, but as Dean would say, it's time to pull out the big guns. 

"Balthazar knew that the Wvyern would continue to hunt Dean until Dean was dead. But instead of worrying us with that info he hunted the Wvyern and got hurt killing it. I haven't told Dean yet, but I thought you might want to know as well." Cas confided.

Sam's face fell. Balthazar had gotten hurt protecting Dean. He had no reason to protect Dean. Cas hadn't known about it, so Balthazar wouldn't have felt pressured to help Cas out. He was dying because he did a good deed. He had just gotten back to the world of the living, and he was dying.

And Dean only had negative things to say about him. Dean only had negative things to say about those they loved. Maybe Dean was jealous. Sam went stock still when he realized what he had just thought to himself. He included Balthazar on the short list of people he loved. He loved Balthazar. In what context didn't matter at this point. But , oh wow. Sam sat there stupefied. 

Cas gave a small smile and let go of the breath he had been nervously holding in. He could pinpoint the exact moment Sam Winchester realized he was in love with an angel. Just like his brother. Sam and Dean Winchester were special, even among other Winchesters. They were specifically designed to always beat the odds and help keep evil in its place. But these Winchester boys, God's two favorite on Earth, his Earthly right hands and God's most devoted foot soldier with his second in command, they were inexplicably drawn to one another. The four of them were special among their kind. Because of that, no matter what vessel he and Balthazar would have taken, they would have always ended up here. The four of them were destined for great things. 

He silently popped himself back to Dean. "He's ready, but I don't think he should have an audience. He is dealing with a lot right now and has a lot to process. So will Balthazar." 

"How do we know Balthazar didn't do this on purpose, to try and force Sammy into this?" Dean spat vehemently. 

"Dean, once the Wvyern attacks a person, they do not let up until that person is dead. Balthazar was injured killing the Wvyern."

Dean blanched. "Dammit! I feel like a total douche. He not only saved my hide when I was first attacked, he is in this mess now because he was trying to keep me safe." Dean looked thoughtful for a moment. "Wait, you didn't threaten him to take out the Wvyern or else did you Cas?"

"No Dean. I knew nothing of what he was doing and I would've just hunt it down myself." 

"Too bad. That would've been hot! You going all he-man, demanding Balthazar keep your man safe." 

"Why ask him to do something I would have taken perverse pleasure in doing myself?" Cas asked in all seriousness. He leaned forward and kissed Dean quickly on the lips. "I'll be right back."

Cas popped back in on Sam and Balthazar. He sat the antidote on the nightstand next to the bed. He didn't say anything. He took one last look at the scene before him, Balthazar looking deathly ill, Sam leaning protectively over him, holding his hands, silent tears running down his face. He whooshed out to give them privacy.


	6. Waiting

Once Cas had gone, Sam glanced over his shoulder at the cup with the antidote. He was scared. What if he was wrong. Hell, what if he was right? He was just a challenge to Balthazar. He looked back to the hand he was holding. He could do this. 

Sam stood up, stilling holding Balthazar's hand, he leaned the smaller man forward and maneuvered himself behind him, so that they were both reclined on the bed. He cradled Balthazar between his thighs, his right arm was wrapped protectively across his chest, with hand holding Balthazar's head upright. Sam reached over and took the cup with the antidote in it, he glanced down at the angel in his lap. Balthazar did this for him. It wasn't for Dean or Cas. But for him. He need to stop deluding himself and face the facts. 

He allowed Balthazar's head to rest back gently against his own chest, slipping a finger in the corner of his mouth so he could pry it open. Once he had his mouth open he raised the cup to his lips and with the first drops of that life saving liquid, started to talk to Balthazar. 

"I don't know if you can hear me Balthazar; but thank you. Thank you for saving my brother, again." Sam fed the liquid to the angel slowly, allowing the liquid to make it's way down his throat. "I'm also sorry. I'm usually level headed and look at things objectively, but I'm scared. And that isn't your fault. I feel drwn to you, where as before I just kinda tolerated you. I guess. I guess that is what you were trying to tell me in the woods, you felt something similar to me. Compelled but unsure why all of a sudden. And maybe it wasn't all of a sudden. Maybe we were both just too stubborn thar we ignored it until it refused to be ignored any longer. 

I'm babbling.

I just realized I loved you. I don't even know anything about you really. What am I supposed to do with that? Not to mention everyone I love, dies. But, I'm tired of being alone, and that is selfish, I know. But I'm willing to see where this goes. What's between us. You just have to come back to me first." 

Sam had tears streaming down his cheeks. He had placed the cup back on the nightstand when it was emptied. Now he had to wait. He continued to cry silently, thinking about Jess, Sarah, Madison, Ruby and even Amelia. They all ended. And in most cases, they ended in death. His parents, his douche grandfather. He had lost everyone but Dean. But even Dean he had lost several times. 

His thoughts turned to the man in front of him. Yes, he was crass, sarcastic and seemingly only out for himself. But he had stuck his neck out there for them numerous times. When Raphael was hunting them. When Fate was hunting them. When Cas had lost his mind, give them the Fate killing blade, and saving Dean twice from the Wvyern. That list was a lot longer than he would've thought. 

Sam stifled a yawn. He was so drained. He closed his eyes and thought about the way Balthazar eyes twinkled with mischief, practically all time. The way his eyes crinkled in the corner when he laughed or smiled. And his wit! He always had a snappy retort. The man was smart. Sam dozed off thinking about all the things he found that he did like about Balthazar. 

Two hours later, Balthazar shifted in Sam's arms. Instinctively Sam tightened his arms around him. Balthazar managed to pry an arm from under the one restraining him and reach up and stroked Sam's face. 

Sam tried to swat his hand away in his sleep. Balthazar did it again. "Wake up Rapunzel." He sang.

Sam shifted but didn't wake up. "Come on Samuel, as much as I enjoy be held down by you, this position is quite uncomfortable."

Again nothing. Balthazar started twisting around as much as Sam would allow, soon he felt something poking him at the base of his spine. "Well I woke someone up." he murmured. He decided to try one last time to wake Sam up. He pulled his hand back as much as possible and tried slapping Sam in the face. But with the angle it was more like grazing his chin. 

Still, it worked. Sam slowly roused, looking around, confused at first and then it hit him. With panic in his eyes he looked down at Balthazar. 

"Hello gorgeous." Balthazar said. Sam sagged with relief, allowing his head to fall back and thump against the head board. 

"As thrilled as I am to be exactly where I am right now, I need to get up Samuel."

Sam looked embarrassed and quickly lifted his hands in the air and dropped his knees flush with the bed. 

"Thank you darling." Balthazar rolled off the bed and sprinted for the bathroom.

The sound Sam heard next had him running to the bathroom himself. Balthazar was retching. Angels didn't vomit. Sam knelt beside him rubbing his back. Are you alright?"

Balthazar wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. He leaned against Sam. "I am now." 

Sam helped him up and led him back to the bed. "You're still weak. Dean wasn't sick like this." Sam mused as he helped Balthazar lay down.

"Dean isn't an angel love. Speaking of love." Sam's face went scarlet but he held eye contact. Balthazar got serious, "You love me Samuel." It wasn't a question, simply a statement of fact. 

"Yeah."

"Thank you for saving my life mon cœur. In more ways then one. I guess that makes us even."

Sam shook his head. He looked away, trying to formulate his thoughts. It was hard to speak, he had a lump in his throat all of a sudden. "No." he croaked out, "You protected and saved Dean, we will lever be even. I will forever be indebted to you."

"Careful Samuel. One may think you were proposing." Balthazar joked. 

"What did you do it?" Sam asked, still sounding choked up. 

"You know why Sam."

"I need to hear you say it."

Balthazar sat up so he was able to look Sam in the eyes. "Because I love you Samuel Winchester." Neither man said anything for several heavy minutes. Balthazar reached out with his hand, brushing tears away from Sam's cheek. Sam hadn't even realized he had started crying. 

"Samuel." Sam wasn't sure why he was emotional. "Samuel." Balthazar tried again. Sam finally looked at him. "It's okay. It doesn't need to mean anything. It's enough to know you were capable of healing me." Sam closed the distance between them, crushing his mouth to Balthazar's. Balthazar gently pushed Sam away. "Hold up. I just vomited, remember." He snapped his fingers cleaning himself up, and then said, "Okay, and action!" Sam chuckled, running his thumb across Balthazar's bottom lip. He kissed him more reverently this time. Savoring the connection between them. When they broke apart Sam held him in place with one giant hand. "I want to get to know you Balthazar. I want to hear stories of you and Cas back in the day. Of you trying to talk your way out of trouble. Of your heaven. I want to know you."Sam confessed. "If we're going to do this, we need to do it right or not at all."

"I couldn't agree more Samuel, mon cœur.You have crawled beneath my skin. And when I'm around you it doesn't even matter that I'm not allowed back in heaven. Cause when I'm with you everything is okay. I'm home. You are my light." Sam closed his eyes. He truly didn't understand what was happening. It was all happening so fast, like he was being forced to see all the beauty that rested in this angels grace. His snarky comments, and biting words were just a defensive measure. He opened his eyes and smiled. 

"Alright mon cœur, let's stop being so sappy and get some shut eye. You're tired and I have more healing to do."

Balthazar laid down, holding out a hand to Sam. Sam stood up and removed his shirt.

Balthazar openly ogled his body. His shoes and oceans followed, leaving him in only his boxer briefs. He turned out the light and climbed in next to Balthazar. "Can I hold you Sam?" Sam's answer was to settle himself in the crook of Balthazar's shoulder, laying his head over his heart and throwing a leg over the angel. "Goodnight Balthazar." 

"Sleep well my dear Samuel."

Sam fell asleep thinking he didn't know why he fought this so hard, it just felt right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was also written as an entry for the Dandelion prompt I was given, but it was too long. Not sure if I want to keep it in the Team Free Will Universe, or simply as a stand alone.


End file.
